No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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