I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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