So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
