hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Sext me about skeletons
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
