You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
