Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize