Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
pray to the hookup gods
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize