there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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