he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
