Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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