im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
