i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
