Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Randomize
