Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
