About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
