Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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