she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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