watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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