The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
