so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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