I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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