talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
