remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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