It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
