we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Randomize
