So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize