my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
These tits shall not be calmed
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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