so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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