dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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