sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
