Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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