I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize