i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
