i can't believe i had my finger in that
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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