on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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