i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
we're so committed to being not committed
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