I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize