he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
