Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
