would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
