she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
