You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
