lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
