i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
