im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
