It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
