she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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