: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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