I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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