Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
