good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
