we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
how drunk are you?
Several
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
