I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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