Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
you never un-have a 4some
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
