Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
