Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
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