does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize