okay pat passed out under dana's car
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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